I agree with most of your statements and if all men were like you, I don't
think woman would have much of a leg to stand on. However, a large percentage of
men "dump" their wives because they are not happy and move on, leaving
a woman with the children she has raised all of their lives.
The husbands job was to bring home the money, go to the gym (play golf, play
poker, watch the game with the guys). After she is dumped or traded in for a
newer model, the woman is now stuck with all the responsibilities as before, but
now has to deal with the stresses of single parenthood with no self-esteem.
Many women are verbally if not physically abused as the husband starts to
stray from the marriage due to guilt and exasperation of dealing with the
"nagging" wife (who senses something is not right in their marriage).
I live in a very comfortable neighborhood where I have not worked because my job
would have affected our taxes...He left me for the young aerobics instructor. I
too thought of the children and the fact that no matter how much I was hurt by
their father ,he was just that their father.
However do I think I should be compensated.. Yes I should still have my home
and my children (we have a very liberal visitation...whenever they want to see
each other they do.) I think he should have to support two families because he
constructed both (in my ex's case.. three) He wasn't happy and without
consideration to anyone else he chose to move on with his life... After 13 years
and two children later (I also helped him raise his first daughter and took care
of his mother) I believe I should be given half (his business was also in our
house when it started) Instead of the company I got all of the house and its
contents leaving him with actually 75% of his income.
The child support goes towards the house bills, gas bills, entertainment, and
food... should my children only get the great lifestyle he is living now and
leave me without the same ability, no. So there are many sides to the
story...and depending which side you are on depends on what is "fair"
but like you the children should not suffer. should their father get exactly
half the time...they never did before He is now choosing to spend more time with
the children which is great but he now has a new step son and wants babysitters
(my children told me this) and that is fine but I am unattached because I have
not found a good Christian man that puts his God and Family before himself and
his own happiness. SO why should I be punished and have my kids' time literally
taken away from me? It is a very fine line, one I walk every day and only with
God's help am I able to go on day by day. By the way, I felt the Christian
counselors did wonderful in helping my children. They were very angry at
everyone and everything...their world was destroyed by the man they loved
most.....Their father.
Sincerely,
Marjette SImmons
Webmaster's views on this situation. Keep in
mind, these are only my opinions on your story and I really have nothing against
you because I don't even know you.
- No, you don't deserve to be compensated for having
kids and retaining "primary" custody simply because you are a
woman and the courts are bias towards women. You deserve to live a
lifestyle that YOU can afford, not what the courts can TAKE from your EX in
the name of child support, which should be for your ex's half of the
children's BASIC needs and NOTHING more like you are probably getting.
- He should not be supporting YOU in a house that you
obviously can't afford to pay for YOURSELF, on whatever you make for
whatever WORK that you do. YOU are no longer his responsibility.
You are divorced.
- Your ex dumped you for some reason and went with the
young aerobics instructor for some reason. If there wasn't a reason
for him to, as you say, dump you, he would probably still be there.
- You need to go out, get a job and support yourself
and stop relying on "child support" for your own needs and
wants. That is NOT what child support is for even though everybody
that receives this free handout is not accountable as to how they spend all
the ex's money.
- That's pretty generous of you leaving him a whole
75% of his income. Next time you talk to God, ask him if it is the
right thing to do, fair and honest for you to in all essence to resemble the
characteristics of a leach and think it is perfectly OK to do
so. I guess there is no excuse for you to sit at home and not
work now because of taxes now is there? Or do you feel you should be
"compensated" to that point also?
