Readers...This might be a little confusing because the first part is missing (I must have deleted it and saved this one to post) you should be able to get an idea of how this conversation went even though the initial e-mail that I received is missing. What I had to say is in red and she is in white. This is how they think. I really don't have anything against this woman other than the fact that she is WRONG and seems to believe that she is OWED what the courts are giving her. If you take notice... it seems she has a lot to say about living the life that she is used to or he should be paying for this and that for ME. Very little is about SUPPORTING the kids and this is exactly what the problem is. Private welfare recipients need to be held accountable for the money they are handed and that it is being spent on the kids....ALL OF IT PLUS THEIR supposed HALF. Whatever is NOT being used DIRECTLY for the KIDS should be RETURNED. NEWSFLASH: You aren't married to him any longer for whatever reasons and he doesn't owe YOU anything even though some judge decided to violate HIS rights and you got your way.
Well what makes you think you are "entitled" to what you were awarded by some bias judge? Did you ever work to pay for any of it? Probably not. Your ex husband was the one who did all the work for whatever you had together. You, like most women, seem to think that you are "entitled" to things that you never worked for and that is complete bullshit. If you are getting by day to day with God's help then you should be able to see the difference between right and wrong. Since HE left YOU, there had to be some sort of reason for it. I wouldn't just pick up and leave my wife unless there was a good reason. Most guys wouldn't do something like that for NO reason. NO...you are NOT entitled to the same lifestyle that you had when you were married to your ex through "child support". You ARE entitled to the lifestyle that you work for and make for yourself. You ARE divorced from him and therefore he is no longer responsible to support YOU although I KNOW this happens because you probably get a lot more than is required for HIS half or your children's basic needs.... NOT your housing needs and not your utility bill needs. Nobody is giving your ex a free handout to pay his housing needs. He has to have the same accommodations for the kids you and he had together as YOU do only without the free paycheck. The FORCED unaccountable transfer of wealth that they call "child support" is socialism and unconstitutional and will be eventually be declared just that by the U.S. Supreme court. We are on our way there. For now, you win and you can keep your free paycheck. He looses and is forced to pay YOU (not his kids). I hope you feel good about it. As far as the rest of your excuses go, I don't want to hear them because I know it is all about the free money you get from him because for some unknown reason you feel you are entitled to it even though you never worked for it. Sorry, but the truth hurts. How much free money do you get a month? With that PLUS what is supposed to be your half...I'd love to see you account for spending it all on the kids, not yourself, your bills, and the house you can't afford...like it is intended for.
Sunday, September 01, 2002 3:04 PM Subject: Re: I agree however..............
I agree with most of your statements and if all men were like you, I don't think woman would have much of a leg to stand on. However, a large percentage of men "dump" their wives because they are not happy and move on, leaving a woman with the children she has raised all of their lives. The husbands job was to bring home the money, go to the gym (play golf, play poker, watch the game with the guys). After she is dumped or traded in for a newer model, the woman is now stuck with all the responsibilities as before, but now has to deal with the stresses of single parenthood with no self-esteem.
Many women are verbally if not physically abused as the husband starts to stray from the marriage due to guilt and exasperation of dealing with the "nagging" wife (who senses something is not right in their marriage). I live in a very comfortable neighborhood where I have not worked because my job would have affected our taxes...He left me for the young aerobics instructor. I too thought of the children and the fact that no matter how much I was hurt by their father ,he was just that their father. However do I think I should be compensated.. Yes I should still have my home and my children (we have a very liberal visitation...whenever they want to see each other they do.) I think he should have to support two families because he constructed both (in my ex's case.. three) He wasn't happy and without consideration to anyone else he chose to move on with his life... After 13 years and two children later (I also helped him raise his first daughter and took care of his mother) I believe I should be given half (his business was also in our house when it started) Instead of the company I got all of the house and its contents leaving him with actually 75% of his income. The child support goes towards the house bills, gas bills, entertainment, and food... should my children only get the great lifestyle he is living now and leave me without the same ability, no. So there are many sides to the story...and depending which side you are on depends on what is "fair" but like you the children should not suffer. should their father get exactly half the time...they never did before He is now choosing to spend more time with the children which is great..but he now has a new step son and wants babysitters(my children told me this) and that is fine but I am unattached because I have not found a good Christian man that puts his God and Family before himself and his own happiness. SO why should I be punished and have my kids' time literally taken away from me? It is a very fine line, one I walk every day and only with God's help am I able to go on day by day. By the way, I felt the Christian counselors did wonderful in helping my children. They were very angry at everyone and everything...their world was destroyed by the man they loved most.....Their father
sincerely, M S
The truth is that most men are like me but are made out to be something else, such as the something else that you describe below. Then comes the "domestic violence" both physical and mental just like you refer to. As long as there is proof, I don't have any problem with these accusations. Most of the time there is no proof and the domestic violence thing is used as a tool to guarantee custody to the mother and the free paycheck that comes with it. And why did you say you didn't work? Taxes? I don't buy that at all. You can make any decision you want as far as your career goes; it's your choice. Anything else is an excuse in my book. What you write here looks like it is taken right out of the National Organization for Women's handbook on how to leave your husband and ensure you get custody and half his paycheck.
Wow.... what can I say except that you have only worn ONE pair of shoes. I guess you have never taken care of a household on your own nor have you taken care of children from birth until adulthood...For your information, I do spend every dime and more on my children and my children only!
It is all documented for their sakes and for an honest relationship with my ex (not that he was ever honest to me). Entitled- He would not have made the decisions he did in his work without my support....He would have never entered business for himself until I told him I would live in a trailer the rest of my life if he could do something he loved..he was scared and unsure and I pushed him to do all that he could and we as a family did without for years....Did I work...well if you hired someone to do everything I did for thirteen years....Hell yes and I probably earned more than you... Daycare provider\nurse\teacher\taxi cab driver\maid\nanny(for all night care)\electrician/plumber/personal assistant(they make huge money)\accountant\customer service\home interior\ builder\manager\and if you want to get technical...personal FAITHFUL whore add all those Jobs (which are just a few) at true market rate and what is your tally....
ENTITLEMENT my ex never lifted a finger at home NEVER he didn't even know how to set up any of the mechanical properties that I drove and picked out with "HIS" money that I save with thousand of "man" hours in coupons and bargain shopping (HE WATCHED ESPN every night and movies on the weekends and had more time to watch TV then I did). I saved money every turn and even paid my continuing education with money I saved from groceries coupons from the budget he set and didn't have a clue because he never went to the grocery store. And for your info there are men out there that REFUSE to let their wives work... get over your pity party and move on. Life is short and if you can work out a deal with your ex so you can move on with your life the better.If you can't it sounds like "A personal problem " to me. FOR YOUR INFO...He left me for a younger skinner woman...his quote to the kidS "I still love your mother I am just not in love with her"...he turned forty.....So you think my children and I should suffer for his egotistical,selfish, narcissistic behavior...IF you do then you are one yourself!
PS My sister also went through a divorce where her ex had multiple affairs and children out of wed lock and through it all did not receive a penny form him... She worked for his parties, his beer, his bail, and his gifts for his girlfriends because he could not hold a steady job....He still hasn't helped his daughter of 6 years and you expect me to believe that it "is right" for all parties concerned..including my niece...well you have just stated what is WRONG with our society and their family values.... NO RESPONSIBILITIES OR CONSEQUENCES FOR ONES OWN ACTIONS!!!! sincerely, the ex wife
