August 10, 2001
Steve Rehrer
Joint State Government Commission
Room 108-Finance Building
Harrisburg, Pa. 17120
Dear Steve Rehrer,
Hi, my name
is Jeffrey L. Baker, I talked to you on August 10, 2001, I wrote Senator Madigan
some time ago and referred me to David Hostetter: Executive Director, he in turn
wrote back to me. I am totally
dissatisfied with the domestic relations law and feel that they are unfair to
the male population. The reason I
say this is, is that I feel that I should get my children more than what I get
them and pay $337.55 every two weeks in child support. I have to provide insurance on my children, I pay close to
$134 every two weeks to provide insurance for the children and myself for dental
and first priority medical insurance, but yet their mother can get ACCESS to
cover what is not paid and not pay a dime.
What is the child support money for then? I had to take a job that pays
more to make ends meat, and hope that my ex wife doesn’t take me to Domestic
Relations to get more money. I also
then had Blue Cross and Blue Shield, which everything I had to pay up front or
make up the difference. I also had
to provide insurance cards for her, for which I was waiting for, from the
company but she told Domestic Relations that I wasn’t providing the insurance
cards and information about the coverage and she never asked for them from me.
When I ask for extra ACCESS cards and information about what ACCESS
covers from her I get no reply, she use to give me cards in the beginning of our
separation then it stopped. What I
got after months of asking her for insurance cards and information about the
insurance was a copy of the kid’s insurance cards. Then
I kept asking for the information about the insurance, I then after weeks got a
reply to call her caseworker. I did
call the caseworker and she said that if they made more cards that it would
cancel out the old ones and that the insurance coverage changes monthly what
they cover. I told her I need to
know what they cover and she said she wood look around for something but
basically tells people it covers everything.
I can’t believe the government allows people to just go wherever they
want and be covered, I told this to the lady and asked her what if I was out of
state, she answered well it might not be covered.
Why do I pay the insurance for the kids on top of the support and she
gets a free ride. Plus she has to meet the first $250.00 for each child and let
me know but if I occur anything with medical bills I have to get it from her and
Domestic Relations want do anything until she is behind $500.00.
But if I am
behind in child support she can tell Domestic Relations and they are on me.
I do not think it is fair how she can only work part time 30 hours a week
and I have to make up the difference. She should have to get a full time job
with benefits. I know the children are not getting all the money. Their
shoes are not in good shape and sometimes have holes in them.
Their clothes are faded or have stains in them or are just too small for
them. My ex though has a new outfit
on overtime I see her, tans, and looks like a million bucks.
I know the state doesn’t do a vouchers on this kind of thing but they
should have some way that the person who is receiving the moneys for support can
show if they are really using the support money.
I pay almost 40% of my pay after taxes to the kids, which I don’t mind
doing they are mine but I know they don’t see it.
Plus she doesn’t have to claim the support money on her taxes. I feel the amount is to high for support and the state
wonders why the men or women get behind on support payments. I also pay for most of the daycare that I can’t use and she
gets to claim it on her taxes. I am just getting by, I had to leave my nursing
job in Lock Haven Hospital and get a job in Williamsport due to the expenses of
gasoline and due to paying for the medical bills upfront and only getting 80%
back, I loved that job and was appreciated there. I couldn’t move there due to the distance from my children
and then in turn I would see my kids less.
I also can’t afford to buy a car and rely on my girlfriend.
Another issue is that the state is more apt to give the
children to the mother. I went
through a lot when my wife didn’t want me anymore and went through some major
mental problems then. My lawyer
tells me now that I am trying to get my children more that I may get them one
more night for a couple hours. I
get my children every other weekend and one night during the week.
I feel blessed to have them at all but feel that know matter what, a man
has no say even though the man is more involved in there lives that they were
when the laws were written and women were not in the workforce as much as they
are now. I stayed up with my
children when they were sick and took them to the doctors when they were sick
and worked full time night shift and my ex worked 30 hours a week (6 hours days)
and I would be up with them until she got home and get a couple hours of sleep
and go to work that night. I took
my kids to the park and did things with them during the day for a month after
working night shift until we found a daycare that we could trust.
I even stayed up with them on my days off when I had just worked the
night before. Where is the justice?
I changed my children’s diaper,
fed them, bathed them and give them unconditional love. I
still am involved with my children but I am told that you have to prove the
mother is unfit but you know she is. My
son begs me to keep him and not to go back with his mother.
I talked to a psychologist in regards to my children and their
counseling. He told me that due to
my hours I cant get them much even though I have someone that can watch them
overnight, my girlfriend. The court
has no idea what is going on in these children’s lives at all so I have to pay
close to $2000.00 in psychologists fees for a court appointed psychologist to
evaluate all of us. My ex has been
dodging counseling in many ways, so I have to do this to find out what is wrong
with my children and to get them help. There
isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about my kids and their welfare
due to their mother not letting me be their father.
I have folders of e-mails and letters of things that their mother will
not tell me. She will not talk
about the kids in their welfare and if she does she try to turn it around on me.
I feel that the state should have more of say and investigate who is the
better parent. I am being penalized
because I have a full time job and work a different shift the psychologist
recommend to me to take the night shift job because I would have a better chance
of getting my kids more than working day shift. I
feel the government should have everyone involved with the children see a court
appointed psychologist at their cost to see who is the better fit with the
children.
The courts need to look at what they are doing with the
children of today. They are making
it easy for families to break up and get a divorce. The family unit is not a unit anymore, people don’t try to
work it out and the courts don’t make them go to counseling before that final
step. Then people wonder what is
wrong with the children today, face it they are coming from broken homes.
If the one ex spouse doesn’t want to work with the other ex spouse
those children are in trouble period. Children
should come first but some people only care about themselves.
This country is in a sad state.
Thank you,
Jeffrey L. Baker
