Darrell Romine
4319 N. Jardot, #5
Stillwater, OK 74075
(405) 624-2165 - Home
(405) 314-2165 - Cell
Mr. George W. Bush
President of the United States
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue
Washington, DC 20510
May 8, 2002
Mister President,
I would like to address an issue that concerns the lives of many across this
great Nation. Divorced parents & second wives are not considered important
in the courts of today. DHS (Department of Human Services) and the CSES (Child
Support Enforcement Section) as well as the courts are violating the
constitutional rights of non-custodial parents. Monetary issues
appear to be the only concern of these agencies. Full investigations should be
conducted to prevent compliant parents being treated as irresponsible.
For twelve years I have provided support for my children without fail.
DHS can confirm this. Recently, however, my employer's payroll specialist
informed me that DHS had attached a garnishment to my wages. Why? What happened
to make me suddenly untrustworthy in the eyes of the government?
Despite gender bias in the courtrooms, many women suffer the same
injustice. Many non-custodial mothers are also denied access to their
children. The problems are the same. But typically it is the father, and
children, who suffer most. Constitutional rights are violated when due process
is ignored. Harassment of parents in compliance should not be allowed or
tolerated.
I have contacted the appropriate State and Federal Officials in an attempt to
learn why my constitutional right of due process was violated. State
Representatives say it is a Federal issue. Federal Representatives shove the
issue back onto the State. In short, I have gotten nothing but the political run
around.
When did it become so difficult to get help from our elected officials?
The voice of the common man should be welcomed among politicians and lawmakers.
I have been in my children's lives two days a week, every week since 1991. I
would be there daily if I was allowed. I am not a radical, but if I am viewed
that way, the system is to blame. While the right of due process for criminals
is protected under the law, the non-custodial parent does not fare as well.
The suicide rate for non-custodial parents is staggering. These individuals
cannot handle the burden of maintaining a suitable household of their own while
providing financial support for their children. The pressure of making ends
meet, while being denied visitation, drives people to desperate measures. The
burden is excessive, unfair, and cruel.
Shared parenting is a step in the right direction. Yet, the system has failed
again. For shared parenting to work, the children must have a minimum of 120
overnight visits per year. I was scheduled, by the courts, to 128. I actually
had 104. The parent who is against shared parenting can manipulate the system by
denying access. Child support judgments must be adjusted to benefit both
the parent and children. While the children are with one parent, that parent
supports them, and vice-versa. The custodial parent should not continue to
receive court ordered support while the non-custodial parent is denied
access. Typically they are driven to live below poverty to provide dual
homes for the children. Second jobs are taken so luxuries such as
Christmas, birthdays, holidays and vacations can be afforded. This is a very
serious situation and creates a vicious cycle that seems never ending.
I believe the custodial parent should be held accountable for how the funds
are used. Child support is not spousal support. Measures should be taken to
assure the two remain separate.
I realize that unless you are directly effected by this situation, it is
difficult to fully appreciate the position of a non-custodial parent.
Nothing within the current system is geared toward correcting, updating or
monitoring the problem.
It is time for the leaders of this great Nation to give parents a chance to
remain parents. Both the Constitution and God has ordained this to be an
inherent right of the people. (Matthew 23, Verse 4 {Jesus speaking to the
lawyers of his day}; "For they bind heavy burdens and grievous to be borne,
and lay them on men's shoulders...but they themselves will not move them with
one of their fingers.") All we ask for is a chance to raise our
children and be a part of their lives. We do not think this is too much to ask.
Sincerely,
Darrell Romine
Romine217@cs.com
Generation G.A.P of Oklahoma
Grandparents and Parents of Oklahoma
ACFC, American Coalition of Fathers and Children
Cc: Senator Nickles, Senator James M. Inhofe, Senator Bill Graves,
Congressman Wes Watkins, Governor Frank Keating, Representative Terry
Ingnire, ACFC, Local Media
ADDENDUM
May 16, 2002
Mr. President,
On May 9th, I had every intention of mailing the letter you just read.
However, I was delayed by being served papers that morning on behalf of my
children's custodial parent. She is suing me for more child support.
The papers ordered me to provide, within 10 days, every aspect of myincome,
including household and personal property. I must also produce my tax records
for the past three years, as well as earning statements. My monthly
expenses are not considered. DHS does not care if I live in poverty so I can
support two households; my own and the custodial parent. Nor do they take into
consideration the property of the custodial parent. The home that is
bought and paid for in Stillwater that stands vacant because of the desire of
the custodial parent to live on a farm and raise horses.
According to my current child support computation, 74% of my income goes to
the custodial parent. When the support is re-figured next month, it will
most likely increase to 76%. My attorney informs me, based on my current
income, I could pay a minimum of $200 additional each month. The custodial
parent avoids work and, for reasons known only to her, ignores
potential rental income. Yet DHS sympathizes and figures her contribution based
on minimum wage, although her potential income is much greater.
If things go as foreseen, my meager 401K retirement account will have to be
closed for the next five years. I am filled with grief at the thought of how a
decision like this, from those in power, will do to my relationship with my
children. I will have to take another job just to survive. Obviously DHS thinks
this is in the best interest of my children. I fail to see how.
Do you realize how de-humanizing it is to be stripped of your rights as a
parent? It is humiliating to be forced into poverty and still not be able to
spend as much time with your children as you'd like. When will someone say
"enough" and stand up for the rights of the non-custodial parent? This
only enforces my reference in the previous letter about the "never ending
cycle".
I am not a rich man. I've been driving the same vehicle for the past twelve
years. I'm just a man who wants nothing more than to be a part of my children's
life; to be a father to my children. I am rewarded by denied, missed, late or
otherwise delayed visitations, all of which means nothing to DHS. I am nothing
but a case number to them.
I'm afraid this just proves my concerns mentioned in the previous
letter. It all boils down to the all mighty dollar and the whims of the
custodial parent.
Darrell Romine
