Hello. I suppose I should start by saying I am not disputing the fact
of whether or not I should have to pay child support because I do accept that as
my responsibility to my child. What I am so damn angry about is the fact
that I can't even support myself at 38 yrs old because I am now obligated by law
to support my daughter and her stepmother who chooses not to work because she
wants to attend college fulltime.
Without going into years of details, I want to share with you my experience.
I have two children, my son is 18 and my daughter is 15. Their father and I have
been divorced for almost 14 years. I have always had full custody of the
children. My first visit to 'Domestic Relations' 13 years ago, my ex was
ordered to pay the maximum then of $52.50/wk per child. After leaving the
hearing, I received a call from my ex stating that the order was outrageous and
I agreed. I agreed to cancel all arrears at that time and lower the
support order because I honestly felt I didn't need that much money to support
our two children.
Over the years their father drifted in and out of their lives and in the 13
years, never once did I keep his children from him, he had access to them
whenever he chose and never once in those 13 years did I file for an increase.
Although many times money was very tight, we
survived. Two months ago, just after my son graduated from school....the
dollar signs must have appeared before his eyes......he took my daughter for a
weekend visit, she called me that Sunday night and told me she was staying with
her father....she wasn't coming home.
A week later, I was issued an order to appear in court for a child support
hearing. I went to the hearing, found out that my ex was making $63,000/yr
and my income was barely $21,000 and he was 'awarded' $74/wk for the support of
our daughter!!!!!!!!!!! All those years of $40/wk per child that he paid,
all of those thousands of dollars I credited his arrears, all of those years I
could have taken him for increases meant nothing!
His wife is a nurse, she made $14/hr and they have a child together....but
she quit her job to go to college fulltime to become a teacher this
fall..............because I am now the defendant and no longer the plaintiff,
her income in contributing to their household finances and the support of the
child they share together is no longer an issue in this new child support case.
My daughter has called me and I tried to explain to her that what her father has
done is so very wrong.....she totally disagreed with me.
She told me that all of those years that her father paid his $40/wk, she
never got any of it and her father told her she should have!! She failed
to understand that that money put food on her table, put a roof over her head
and clothing on her back...........her father has told her that she will get
every penny of this $74/wk as an allowance!!! He's told her and the
hearing officer when the support order was made that he didn't need the money to
support her, he wants her to have an allowance every week.
Needless to say, I have lost my daughter. The Pennsylvania child
support laws are totally unfair....especially to those of us who have been
honest in doing our share and not taking advantage of a spouse!!!
Of course they are unfair, it is all about them
collecting as much money as possible. They make money from it. I
haven't been able to find out yet where all this federal money that the state
gets for collecting "child support" is used for. This is a good
example of the damage this unaccountable system does to good parents and even
the children in this case by teaching them that one parent is nothing more than
a paycheck...money that is owed to them. A system that can be used to
"get even". It doesn't matter to your daughter now about all
those years you 'raised her' does it? This situation did a hell of a lot
to instill morals and values in the child didn't it? Thank you
Pennsylvania court system.
