I have an eight year old daughter out of wed-lock. Her mother and I
were engaged to be married some time ago. For various reasons, the
engagement was terminated. My ex-fiancé was not happy with this
decision and decided she needed a formal custody agreement regarding my
daughter. This agreement left me seeing my daughter every other
weekend, instead of the three days a week I was accustomed to.
With a formal agreement in hand, her next step was the Domestic
Relations System. There it was decided I would pay in excess of $400 a
month for my daughter's cost of living. I did have legal representation
and assumed this was normal in these type situations.
Some time later I met a woman I would later marry. She was divorced
and also had a ten year old son. She too had utilized the support
system, however, her ex-husband was self employed and did not show much
income on paper. Her support amounted to $70 a month.
It seemed at least once a year I would be in either Family Court or
Domestic Relations for some type of modification to my custody agreement
or support order. What was more upsetting was it was usually shortly
after some type of disagreement between myself and my ex-fiancé. What
made me decide to begin writing editorials to local newspapers and seek
out groups such as this was St. Patrick's Day 1999. This was the day my
wife gave birth to my son. She gave birth at 8:26a.m. and I was due at
Domestic Relation's at 10:00a.m. for a modification hearing. I made the
appointment and learned my support for my daughter would now be in
excess of $500 a month. The cost of care for my new son was never
discussed in this meeting, nor the fact that my wife's ten year old son
only needs $70 a month for his well being. I'm sure many people reading
this are paying well in excess of $70 for that same ten year old son.
Something needs to be done.
I have always stated, and still do, I would pay $2,000 a month, if my
daughter needed it, taking on two jobs if I had to. The fact is the
system is allowing my ex-fiancé to retaliate my decision to end our
engagement the only way she can, through my pocket. In some ways they
are helping her.
I neglected to voice my opinion in the past for fear I would be looked
at as a bitter father who did not want to take responsibility for his
child. I thank you for making me realize there are many people in my
situation and look forward to doing what I can to reform the support
system. You may be reading another note of mine in the near future as,
next week, I will once again be attending a modification hearing at the
request of my ex-fiancé.
A classic example...they just TAKE
whatever they want from you with out any factual information whatsoever.
They just apply their magic guidelines that are based on who knows what.
Socialism at it's best. This is also an example of these
"guidelines" being beyond excessive. You are actually paying for
not only your HALF of what the child needs, but the custodial parent's rent or
mortgage, car payment, utilities, credit cards, and probably even trips to the
mall to spend your money on themselves. We need to demand
accountability. It is just like handing over half your paycheck to someone
on the street.
