I was dating a woman in 1995, on September 28, 1998 we got married. Prior to
this she had me arrested in 1995 on false charges of stalking, harrassment and
simple assault in June of 1995. In December, 1995 she sent me Christmas cards
that said she loved me. In February, 1996 she went to the County Court hearing
on the charges from June of 1995 and tried to press them. But to no avail
because I had the Christmas cards with me to show to the judge who told her she
cannot have her cake and eat it too. June she didn't want anything to do with
me, December she loves me, February she doesn't want anything to do with me. We
bought a home in April of 1999, her father moved in with us no matter how much I
objected. His wife left him on October 13, 1998, but he found her due to
harrassing Social Security. In May of 1999 things were not working out because
her brother and father did not want to help out. So when her dad got drunk and
started fighting with me I called the police and had him removed. She wound up
quitting her job and leaving me with all the bills to pay, she has not gone back
to work yet. It has been nothing but bickering and fighting over what is the
best way to take care of my daughter. Her father is an alcoholic along with her
mother and brother. Her dad is taking advantage of the Welfare system by using
our home address when he doesn't live there in order to obtain benefits. The
mother is living in her susbsidized apartment with her husband that is not
supposed to be there while she is collecting Disability. They see nothing wrong
with drinking every day. Her mother mixes her antidepressants with the beer and
gets all goofy. On December 23, 2000 I left work because my wife went into
labor. I was unable to return because right when I was to return she tried to
overdose on a whole bottle of pills. I wound up losing my job because I was not
able to return. I took care of my daughter every day - changing her, feeding
her, palying with her, etc. for seven months until July of 2001 when I finally
could not take it any more and left. That day I went and filed for divorce,
served my wife, she said she was going to kill her self, so I went and had her
302'd. The hopsital let her go. She in turn filed Protection From Abuse Papers
against me and had the baby taken off of me. Our court system walks women right
through exactly what they need to say in order to get PFA's. I did not get to
see my daughter for over two weeks, at which time a hearing was held. I hired an
attorney (which I don't think did any better than I could have done my self). I
showed her documents showing that my wife was off her rocker. She talked with my
wife's representative and we came to an agreement and had a consent order
signed. We have since modified this to be a 50/50 custody agreement. We have
both gone through Bankruptcy and she is losing the house. I was finally able to
get an apartment in December of 2001 after sleeping on my mother's floor for
five months. We were finally divorceed in November of 2001. Now my wife was
approved for Social Security Disability in July of 2001 and has received $742
mo. for her and $335 mo. for my daughter. I filed an appeal for her and Social
Security just gave her $10,727 back money for her and $2,046 back money for my
daughter at the beginning of March of this year. She only has $3,400 left. The
other day I was talking with her about my getting 50% of the marital assets
before she moves (furniture and other items in the house). She goes bezerk and
tells me to take it all. There is no working things out she wants 100% of
everything for herself. She starts to fight with me and gets in my face telling
me to hit her while my daughter is standing in the room. After I left she went
to the police and filed an emergency 24 hour PFA against me. I know these are
good until the next day when court opens, then she must go downtown in order to
get a 10 day PFA. I showed up downtown figuring she is doing this to keep my
daughter away from me and to get back at me. At the hearing today, the judge
granted her the 10 day PFA, and let me continue to have my 50% custody of my
daughter as long as I do not exit the car and a third person picks her up with
me. I tried to tell the judge she is certifiably nuts and is just doing this to
get my ddaughter taken away from me. He just said he is not dealing with the
custody issue and granted her the PFA for herself only with a hearing to be held
on May 9th. My wife has been diagnosed with Manic Deopression, Agorphobia and
Panic Attacks. She is currently taking Zoloft and Klonopin. When she talks to
anyone it is like she is yelling at you, she does not talk at a normal level.
This is having an adverse effect on my daughter who has not bonded with her
since her birth. When I don't have my daughter, my ex-mother-in-law has her or
is down taking care of her because my ex is not capable. I have copies of her
social security disability application where she states she gets raging mad and
can pound someone in the face when she has a disagreement with them. I also have
a copy of social security's decision to award her back money stating she is not
sociable and cannot handle daily activites or stress outside of the home that is
associated with normal daily living. I also have receipts she has written on
where she writes "I hate myself, I hate myslef, etc." But the courts
do not seem to be concerned with her mental incapacity. If she cannot handle
stress outside of the home or leading a normal productive life - what effect
does the courts feel this will have on my daughter? They still let her have
custody of her. I am worried she is going to crack one day and do something to
my daughter. Only then "AFTER THE FACT" will the police and courts say
- "oh! there is something wrong with her." The McKeesport Police
looked at me yesterday when they pulled me over and told me to stay away from
the house as though I was the nut case, not her. Then they accused me of driving
through the alley behind her house while they were there. How do I get my
daughter off of this lunatic. Her family only wants her to have custody of my
daughter because she needs the $335 my daughter receives to live off of. Social
Security has now reduced my wife's payment to $666. The house she just rented is
$585, leaving her $81 out of her money and my daughters $335, to pay for all
bills, food, clothing, etc. She has gone through almost $10G in the last two
months. I am currently receiving unemployment and want to take this time to
pursue ful custody of my daughter. I went and filed for a modification Tuesday
through our court system. I had to pay another $50 to file the modification, but
before you can get a modification you have to go through "The
Generations" Program - a set of classes. One class session, then a
mediation session before the courts will start to get into Psychological
Evaluations, Home Inspections, Etc. The class fee was $40 and the mediation fee
was $100. So I had to pay $190 today just to start filing for custody. She will
be required to also pay the $140 for the class and mediation fees, unless she
gets a domestic violence waiver, which she probably will. It is mostly women
that work in the PFA department of our court system, so when you start asking
for help on how to fight a PFA no one wants to help you. Everyone tells you to
go hire a lawyer, but the money you are spending on a lawyer could be used on
your child instead. The last lawyer I had charged me $500 to walk out of the
courtroom in two hour with a consent agreement. She told me after I finish the
Generations Program she would need $1000 as a retained to pursue full custody.
This does not include the thousands it costs for evaluations. Currently, my
daughter is the one that is losing, she has the one having to live in the
unbearable conditions with my ex, I don't think she can tell who mommy is,
because grandma has spent so much time taking care of her. When my ex comes over
my daughter runs up to me and wants picked up like she is afraid of her. My ex
also has this other OCD problem that is flipping me out, she sits there and will
ask you three times in a row "If I wish the baby would die, would it
happen." And you have to answer her. Two minutes later she will ask the
same thing. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!! She is driving me nuts and her whole family is
having a bad influence on my daughter. The mother receives SSI for panic
attacks, my ex receives Disability due to the Agoraphobia, Panic Attacks, Major
Depression and ?, and her father is in the process of bilking the welfare system
and going to apply for Social Security Disability. My hearing is May 9th. Her
petition for PFA stated the police have been called to our house for domestic
probl;ems at least 3 times in the past and satated I have been arrested at least
two times in the past for domestic violence. I asked the police department for a
letter stating there are no records to substantiate their claims but they
refused to give me one stating it is up to my lawyer (which I don't have one) to
ask her for the documentation. I have also looked into getting a copy of the
transcript from 1995 when she had charges filed against me, then sent me the
XMas cards, then pursued the charges and the judge told her you can't have it
both ways. Cost estimate by the court stenographer is around $20. I am trying to
avoid her getting a PFA because it can be used against me later when I try to
get full custody. How do you stop a liar from continually filing over and over
for PFA's? I have not updated this in a while so here is the update:
I was able to have her PFA reduced down to a consent agreement at the final
hearing, so that is over with. At the 10day hearing the judge would not give her
a PFA relating to my daughter he only gave her the 10 day PFA on herself. I have
attended the Generations education class this past Saturday, but this only
relates to someone if they are able to sit down and do things in an organized
and methodical way, not a raving lunatic. So the next step is mediation in June.
She was not at the class, so I don't know what is going on, on that end with
her.
This past week I took my daughter one day early in order to make up for time
that I lost with her due to my ex requesting she be with my ex-in-laws on a
couple of my days. We agreed that it would be OK to have her one extra day.
Saturday my ex was supposed to call me because she wanted this whole custody
thing dropped, she wanted towork out an agreement. She never called and after
four tries I finally got her. Her deal was she wanted me to drop the full cutody
and never file again, she could file for a PFA anytime she wanted to and the
custody would stay as it is. Then she told me that I would get my daughter a day
later next week because I took her a day earlier this week. I told her that was
not the agreement. The extra day was to make up time. She flipped out and told
me FU and hung up on me. I wound up taking my daughter back one day earlier
(Sunday) instead of Monday because I picked her up Thursday instead of Friday.
So the custody order would stay on track since she now does not agree to making
up time. This week I get her Thursday. My ex is really flipping out because she
thinks the court is going to order a psychological evaluation and will find out
what she is like. I can fax you her social security papers if you like so you
can read them for yourself. This custody battle is getting uglier by the day
because the in-laws keep getting involved and the ex-brother-in-law and
father-in-law keep making threats. My ex-mother-in-law is the one taking care of
my daughter whenI do not have her, but that is hard to prove because I don't
know how to document it since I don't have a third party that can see her taking
care of her. Ask me any additional questions that you want in order to expalin
this better.
