I been reading though your web page and its a relief to see I am not the only
person in Pa who can see that the courts are corrupt, I have been dealing with
them for over 9 years and I am a mother of three, my husband has two cases with
them both for back support, not current, and I wont bore you with the long story
of why its so ridiculous that he has these orders, and why the child support
enforcement agency has had no regard for our civil rights, and why if they get
their way my husband will not be in his kids lives he will have to move out or
go to jail, and how I have sat at my computer in tears reading case after case
and anything that has to do with the PA child support agency, but I can only
speak for my self when I say they have ruined our life, we are low income so
really can not do much about any thing they do, just have to deal with it, but I
for one have had enough. I remember walking in court with my husband and him
being held in contempt because as this judge was calling him no good for nothing
and saying he was not a father I could not take it and I spoke up, anyone in our
life will tell you my husband is a wonderful father who does everything with his
kids from changing diapers to coaching baseball, their has never been a night he
has not fallen asleep with one of our kids on his chest, when they were babies I
did not have to wake with them because he loved to do it, our youngest is three
now, and he still sleeps with his head on his dads chest, he cry's when he goes
to work because he loves him so much, our two older children 7 and 9 are high
honor roll students, but they have been though a lot, my middle child after
getting out of the hospital watched them throw his dad into a wall because he
was behind on a child support order and put in jail, we lost our house we rented
and went with out because I had to take them so much money before he could get
out, this was all over a order for his son from his x-wife that he was not aloud
to see, but he had always paid support for, not though court because she did not
want to go to court, but when he made her mad because he would not revoke his
rights she went and filed and told the judge what a bad dad he was, she also
told my husband as long as me and him stayed together he would never see his son
and his son would hate him, long story but she went to court and had his rights
taken from him so her husband could adopt his son, all with out him knowing, he
was paying child support so we did not think she could do it, and she never
stopped the order till I found out over a year later and fought it, but in this
time they were taking so much of his pay I think half, he was only making 8$
hour so that left us with 4$ before taxes to take care of our kids, he worked
more they took more, we finally had to separate, we tried to get help so we did
not have to but since they looked at our income before support we could not get
help, the bad thing was if we separated and I tried to get help I had to take
him to court for support he told me to do it because he was already behind and
what was important was our kids, and he really felt like it was all his fault
but it was not because he was doing all he could to support out kids but weather
he worked more or got a better job it did nothing but change the amount they
took, so that is how he ended up with two orders, and a lot of back support, it
might not of been the best thing to do but believe me we tried to stay together,
there was nothing we wanted more but it was not be able to take care of our kids
or separate so that's how they really got our life a wreck, now we are just
trying to get from underneath all of it, we are together, even though he still
spent every day with us he could not live any longer away from us, he had been
to the point were he did not want to live, I can say the only reason he is here
is because he loved us so much, we got the support order from his son taken care
of since we proved the adoption happened they stopped the order so he just has
to pay what he owed it goes to DPA, and he has to pay what he owes for our kids
it also goes to DPA, but we are not much better off, we are still in the
situation were we have to decide weather to pay DPA the child support that is
owed or support our kids, and our kids are what is important and so I'm sure
very soon he will go to jail, they froze my bank account because it had his name
on it, had no money in it, so now its minus 10,000, I don't know how that
happens, I tried to talk with them but they wont talk to me, because I don't
understand how they can do that with out telling us, and I wanted to know how I
owe my bank 10,000 and them 10,000 its the same 10,000 just owed twice now I
guess, they took his income tax but yet its not off the balance, they even took
my income tax a few years back, because we filed together, I have tried to
explain to them that I can not support my kids and its destroying my family but
they don't care, they say the children are important, but yet if it keeps up my
kids will no longer have a dad. I am always so afraid he will go to jail, he has
already went once and it cost us everything, but its not the money its my
children who love their dad so much and we just want to be a family, I said to
them once (the court) this money is owed to DPA, can they not wait or lower it
so that we can try and support our kids, they said no and proceeded to tell me
what a bad father he is, he is such a bad father he is trying to keep a roof
over our kids heads, that is the only reason he is not paying his support now,
and had they ever listen to a word we said he would not owe all this money but
they never wanted to hear any thing other then were he was working, he owes
money from when we got back together and they did not stop the order, some of
the money owed was adding up while he was on my public assistance, he worked but
we got insurance though the state because he did not have it at work, but they
don't want to hear that either, and all this money he owes from when they say he
was a bad father because he did not live with us, was because of them, we could
not afford to stay together because they choose to take so much money from his
pay that we lost everything. sorry for going on about it but its just such a
shame that they use the excuse of helping the kids when they are the reason in
most cases that children don't have a father.
Nicole
You know what we need to do is get all these fathers together their are so
many, a person here and a person there is not going to make a difference but
when you have everyone standing together you can make a difference. The people
in government who are making this injustice possible need to be made aware that
they will not get elected into office, who is voting? Think about the fact that
most of the men out there fighting for our country are men, and a lot of those
men are the same men who have been put through hell from the courts, have had
their civil rights disregarded in these courts but yet go fight for our country.
We need to find away to get it out there weather its though the media, or any
other way we can, a complaint here and there that get published is not going to
make people see, it all needs to get brought into the public eye. I live in
Pittsburgh, and I am aware of how bad the system is because I deal with it. The
state of PA gets a lot of funding for child support enforcement, so its to their
benefit to have fathers owing support, they have ads on TV stating they are
doing this for the kids and all the other hypocritical garbage they say but the
truth is all these men who they say are "Deadbeat dads" are usually
forced into arrears because of the amount of money the CP is awarded, now what
about the fact child support is for two parents to support the child equal, the
father is paying 500.00 - 1000.00 a month and the mother is on welfare why is
she not paying 1000.00 a month and if she don't have to pay that much why does
he. The other thing is if a father falls behind on his support he goes to jail,
for having money problems, right? why when the mother has to go on welfare and
can not support her children she gets help, why does she not go to jail because
she lost her job and is having money problems. How fair would it be that if a
woman was having a hard time supporting her children CYS came and took them, no
questions asked they just took them and said because the mother lost her job she
don't deserve them, she is a bad mother. It would not happen because people
would be outraged. Why can they say all this stuff about fathers need to be held
responsible for the children they have, but the mothers do not, most fathers owe
child support to one woman, most woman receive child support from more then one
man, who is not being responsible? I wrote you before and told you my story, so
I can honestly say that the only thing that can tear my family apart is the
child support enforcement office, I can say that the only reason we can not or
have not been able to support our children is the child support enforcement
office, the only time my children's dad has not been with them or been a dad to
them is when child support enforcement put him in jail. I remember a judge
calling him scum and a no good for nothing then she stopped and said I am not
even going to call you a father, this was said while his children were standing
there, like I said she held him in contempt because I said something to defend
him. I think what makes me most mad is a woman who is mad because her and the
father split up and she uses the court to get revenge, and is aloud to do this,
she goes back and goes back to get the amount raised, makes him fight to see his
kids and in most cases he does not win, then wonders why a father walks away and
gives up, because he is fighting a no win battle, because not only she is
against him but the courts are also, then he is called a deadbeat dad. The best
thing to happen would be for parents to have split custody, no one owes anyone,
but it wont happen because of the state they then would have no way to make
money off these dads, that would be the best thing for the children and the
parents and it would be fair, but the courts are not interested in fair, they
are interested in money. I see that their are both mothers and fathers who
choose to walk out of a Childs life and not help with support but that is a two
way street and maybe there are more dads then moms that walk away I don't know
that, but its the exception not the rule, I know many fathers who want to be in
their Childs life but are not aloud, or when they try their life is made hell.
And the entire deadbeat dad thing was a way to get the community to stand behind
the courts in this, its an excuse to take a fathers rights away, and feel ok
about it. And as far as a father having to pay everything, and then have a
second family, its funny no one cares about the children in the second family, I
was told once that the judge feels that the second family does not court because
the woman knew about the support obligation when she entered into a relationship
with that man. So why can a woman have a second or third family and that is ok,
but once a man leaves a relationship he should not have a life after that. If
you read my other letter you read my husbands ex-wife had his rights
relinquished and had her new husband adopt his son, she filed for abandonment
but he was paying support and it was going though the court, but they all acted
like they did not know and blamed it on an error and her lying but more or less
just told him to bad, deal with it, he lost his rights as a parent and did not
find out to a year later, and they had the nerve to charge him support after the
adoption. This country is out of hand and it really has to be brought to the
attention of people who count, find out who we need to get out of office and who
we need to get in, I really believe that there are enough good people in this
country that will fight against an injustice but they have to all know about it,
the government has much more access to get what they want to be heard out there
we have to do the same thing. When it gets so out of hand that it leads to other
peoples rights, other then just fathers, then people will understand that it
wont stop here, it will get worse. But we have the power as people to change
this, it just has to be a lot of people working together. I have spent the last
month writing congress, the president, in people in Pittsburgh, now as one
person they probably delete my e-mail, but I will keep writing.
Nicole
