I have visited your website and find that the information that is provided to
be informative and helpful. I thought that I would share with you my story...
I am in the process of getting a divorce. My estranged wife and I have been
separated for a year and a half now. May of this year will be two years. We have
two daughters together, age 14 and age 6. I was married for 13 years. During the
last year of my marriage I found out the my wife had been cheating on me with a
nineteen year old co-worker. At the time she was 33.
I tried to do everything that I could to save my marriage, but in the end the
line was crossed and there was no going back. I gave her everything when we
first separated only to have her use it against me in court and with our
daughters. Since our separation she has moved in with her boyfriend and even had
a child to him. Which my insurance paid for because we are still legally
married.
She brought me up on PFA charges, which were later thrown out in court. At
the time it seemed like a victory, but in the end it hurt me because she
appealed it to the superior court and the superior court judge felt that she
didn't get a fair trial because she wasn't cross examined and none of her
witnesses had a chance to speak, which our oldest daughter was one of them. If
anyone didn't get a fair trial it was me. Even though the charges were thrown
out I never got a chance to tell my side of the story, the TRUTH!!!
Twice I have been investigated by CYS and each time they went on record
saying that the child abuse charges were unfounded. This was my first marriage
and I had no idea what to do or not do. So I agreed to supervised visitations
with my daughters. I felt that if this was the only way I could see them I would
be them before myself.
I have never been so humiliated in my life. Knowing that I did nothing wrong
and to have a perfect stranger who was nothing more than a social worker examine
my interactions with my children. All along I have tried to tell my side of the
story, the TRUTH, but no one seems to want to listen. During the time that
Family Pathways was handling my case they informed me on several occasions that
I was doing a good job. At each and every visit my oldest daughter would not
talk to me. It was very hard not to correct her for not answering when I asked a
question, but I figured I better not scold her because it would play into the
hands of the lies.
After three visits Family Pathways informed me that my oldest was being a
brat and that they would meet with her to tell her she would talk to me during
our visits together. My next visit after that was with only my youngest, when I
asked what happened they informed me that my oldest was extremely afraid of me
and that for now they would discontinue my visitation with her. I was outraged
but again did not show it. I continued to meet with my youngest. It got to the
point were they were going to give me 4 hour visits with her, but that I would
have to me my estranged wife a convenient store, because there hours wouldn't
meet with my schedule.
My estranged wife said no way because I could not be trusted. That was last
October and I haven't seen my youngest since. During this time the court
appointed psychologist came back with his recommendations which were every other
weekend with my youngest daughter and counseling with my oldest daughter moving
towards reunification. The funny thing is I was and still am a good dad. I did
everything for my girls, but the guy correction the kid she lives with has more
rights than me. I know and read about Parent Alienation Syndrome. My oldest fits
the pattern to a tee. I don't know how this will all end but I will never give
up my fight!!!!
Lost and lonely dad
