I know this story is not the exact type that you are particularly interested
in. It does however deal with the how little rights non-custodial fathers have,
and, on the opposite side of that, the amount of control/power that the
custodial parent (typically mother) is arbitrarily given.
I have been paying chilled support now for nearly 8 years. I was not court
ordered to do so, I did what was morally right. Using child support calculators,
I determined what my obligation should be. I then arranged to have that amount
automatically deducted from my paycheck and distributed directly to my ex-wife.
My relationship with my children is great! I see them every weekend &
sometimes in between. My relationship with my ex is good, especially when
compared to most divorces.
My biggest issue is the financial side of things. I pay approximately
$1000.00 from my net pay (after taxes!) in child support each month. My ex
receives this support each month (two payments of $500.00/month) as income which
she does not have to claim, so to her it is tax free. Because my children live
with her, she, as the custodial parent, also has the right to claim both
children on her income tax as deductions. This is a huge tax benefit! I on the
other hand have no right to claim them unless "granted" by her! Additionally, I
do not get any recognition of paying child support when determining my taxes
each year.
On top of all of this, I (by choice) still pay for Catholic school tuition. I
am forced to maintain a home that is large enough to accommodate my two
daughters when they come to stay with me each weekend. I do not have the luxury
of only needing to maintain a 1 bedroom home. My home must be the same size as
their home. I often buy them clothes. I must feed them when they are with me,
and I often am asked to share the expenses of extra-circular activities or
hobbies. Asked mind you, in the manner that if I do not, then my children will
not be able to participate. So do I let my kids not enjoy being involved in
sports, or clubs etc...of course not, I love my kids and what to give them
anything I can.
At a minimum, there should be at least some tax benefit for fathers that are
paying their child support faithfully. I have never missed even one payment. All
of the rights and benefits certainly belong to the custodial parent. The
non-custodial parent gets no consideration... at least not until he would miss a
payment, then he gets all the attention in world.
Additionally, I feel adamant that the custodial parent receiving the child
support payment should be required to account for all the money received. They
should have to prove were every cent of that money goes to. The money is child
support, not ex-wife support! This way, money not accounted for (aka, not needed
for any given month) should be deposited into a child support "escrow account"
of sorts. When the money can be necessitated and subsequently accounted for,
then withdraws are taken. Ultimately, if at the end of child support commitment
term (when child becomes an adult), if there are any funds remaining that have
not been withdrawn, they should be given directly to the now adult child. This
procedure would insure that the CHILD receives THEIR benefit, not the custodial
parent!
If anyone else is experiencing the same frustrations as I, please feel free
to share. Better yet, if you have found or know of solutions to my dilemma, or
wish to offer advice, I am always willing to listen.
Regards,
John
